Pardon the random thoughts but I was thinking about baptism which is symbolic of the rebirth of self and to which it seems, of the planet. I sense we are in a new era as a human race. I perceive that this is a result of living throughout each era in history the way that we have. Historically, we have wanted to latch on to something other than ourself-whether it be a president or a bible-that would offer us order, hope or change. When really, all we need lies within. But nope. Too simple. People ruined people and traveled way too far from the very basic truth of our thread. I am trying to find my way back.

I believe that we as a planet live in and/or experience fear-induced chaos, self doubt, a false sense of security, alternate realities and not to mention, lies we have attached ourselves to throughout the “programming” of history that engulfs us in this world, in our communities and at home.

For as long as I can remember and from what I have observed when looking around at the world we live in, it seems that we give in to, follow and idealize a very skewed, outdated and societally unrealistic way of what we should do, how we should think, how we should live and how we should act and then do so without challenging or asking questions based on REAL LIFE experience, equality, education, culture or the confidence of being self-empowered like that.

Many of these ways of thinking have been handed down and force fed to us throughout history. That blanket is thrown at everybody and then it gets recycled, regurgitated and stamped with “modern day” through each generation. It always has. Why?? From there and through each era, different versions of the mandated truth of this “machine” versus our own practical beliefs, questions and perceptions are carried on despite the unspoken common sense of the collective: What is right? What is fair? What is love? What is human? What makes SENSE? When did we become desensitized to these BASICS? When did it become ok to NOT ask these things?

In and through former, unevolved beliefs and denial of inarguable common sense, is where we have failed to realize who we really are as intelligent, capable, independent and forward-thinking, creative, compassionate and loving human beings and the role that we could play in the collective of this world. If only all of the tools, technology and resources available to us were actually used to benefit the planet in this way. There is so much imbalance. That’s putting it kindly. But I digress.

I choose not to follow or co-sign on segregated belief systems or really, anything designed to divide. It is 2018. I choose not to live in fear. I choose to not dwell. I do not watch television purposely and for what I consider a good reason. I do catch myself getting sucked into meaningless social media garbage. What is left for me without those things is growth, independent thinking and self-evolution. From there, the lost practice of having ACTUAL human connection would be ideal…..if the incredible power of technology we have available to us wasn’t such a catalyst to our disgusting, superficial and impersonal disconnection of things getting lost in translation assuming anything REAL was translated in the first place. It seems people are struggling more and more with being people.

The day I realized that everything was not as it seemed, I became self-empowered as an individual of the PRESENT day and in and of my present self. It was tough to realize that almost everything I had been taught was either based on someone else’s opinion, agenda or ideals, not entirely accurate or just simply unevolved, stringent beliefs based on the past.

Since I tapped out of that idealized way of generalized thinking and started looking inward, it has been quite the raw, uncertain, lonely, overwhelming, frightening and frequently self-medicated adjustment period with the frequent wonder of what I REALLY want and where I will fit as it relates to those around me. It feels SO isolating for me wanting to simply be ME. I have been very misunderstood also. And there is something VERY wrong with that picture. I go against the grain/march to my own beat and I know my words are not for everybody or may be offensive to some or whatever, but I speak with conviction of what I believe to be right and of healthy mind.

So, back to my original thought regarding the symbolism in baptism. It all comes down to our personal journey of SELF and evolving REBIRTH of self for the BETTER, that causes a ripple effect in the world around us. BE the change you want to see is NOT cliche. I think of the current state of affairs as a whole as a tidal wave or immersion under water representing imminent death of everything when the human race and planet is literally imploding on itself. The only way out of that is by INDIVIDUAL death of self by ALL. Meaning, death of EGO: Death of fear, self-doubt, living in the past and letting go of fear based attachments which are all rooted in fear. And guess what? It is NOT necessarily pretty. And it may be uncomfortable. But guess what else? That is perfectly fine. I have gotten to be very comfortable with being uncomfortable in pursuit of my truth and peace of mind. And I am just scratching the surface.

When we get to the point where we can’t run and hide from our own fear, self-doubt, lies, ego, or our own truth, we come to face that usually in our darkest hour sitting in our own shadow. Through trial/tribulation. Through hell or high water. Once we have lost faith in everything and have become hopeless, we begin to question everything. And we SHOULD. I’ve often asked myself “What is the point?”

Look around at the world. Most have lost faith in themselves and in the people around them. A “cleansing tidal wave baptism” (in a symbolic form) is necessary for the self-actualization process. It is necessary to “ascend” to reach higher levels of self and higher levels as a human race. Darkness will fall upon self and across the land first. And should push us to rebirth. Stare that overwhelming, dark fear in the face and fight. That fear is you fighting and resisting your own interwoven truth for what is better. Things CAN be reprogrammed and rewired. Embrace that dark to find your light. I know for me and based on what I see around me, we are all being pushed for better. And my, do we all have some serious spiritual and metaphorical baggage. It starts at an individual level. The world around us is merely a reflection of us.

Having said that and anymore, I interperet much of the bible as a metaphor that relates to the self-actualization process via death of ego. I have an entirely different understanding of what is happening in the world around me and I embrace what I have experienced and endured as treachery and misfortune. But I do not wish to recycle that or pass that down. This has changed my perception of everything. Things do not look bleak anymore as they once did. My faith in humanity has been restored. I no longer fear the religious-based books. And I have realized that ALL literal terms of the like are relevant and can be enriching. For me, there is freedom in that. And this is a new beginning that took me almost 40 years to find.

I’MERICA

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