I am so grateful to have the type of co-parenting relationship that I do with my children’s father. We met when we were 23 (now 39) and we were together/married for 13 years. We were together our entire adult lives pretty much. We grew up and did everything together. We accomplished so many life milestones together. We crushed so many goals. But somewhere in there, we grew apart and just didn’t see eye to eye anymore. Love got lost in the rat race of the life routine we were in. I finally learned that what I was living was not fulfilling to me. The romance ship sailed. It sunk. It was so depressing. In fact, it was catastrophic and debilitating to me.
Long story short, we parted 4 years ago for good. Things were difficult to adjust to over the past 4 years for both of us and for our kids. However, things for us individually have gotten so much better. We are better friends now than I think we ever have been and as a result, our children are so happy. He is a good man and a good father and he supports me and has my back no matter where I am at and what I am doing and that is because he is one of the few on this earth that has learned and knows my worth and has seen me in action as a human being and wants me to be happy. He trusts that what I say and what I do is what it is. And I want him to be happy and be where he wants to be just the same.
I am so lucky to have this. It hasn’t always been like this but we were able to get here out of getting brutally honest with ourselves and with eachother regarding the matter of life and where we each stood in it and what we each wanted out of it. Now, there is no “work” or effort involved because we can just be who we are with no “masks” involved. We started out with other plans but then life happened. We learned to accept that. I walked away from that with some priceless, lifelong lessons and have no regrets. If nothing else, I gained a better sense of who I am and accepted that people can grow apart.
Operating out of honesty isn’t always easy but it is so worth it. Staying true to you is always worth it and how it should be in my opinion. There is so much uncertainty in the future but I at least know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be and that at any given time, my next course of action is 100% my choice and up to nobody else but myself. I look inward to save myself anymore. It is nobody else’s job or responsibility to make me happy. That key belongs to me. This is certainly not a bad place to be at all. It definitely makes dating take on a whole new meaning for whenever that time comes. For that, I am grateful. I have not lost anything. I gained a lifelong friend, our kids are so blessed to have the type of truth that they will learn through us and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It is the better way of life than either of us were taught and I look at it as a means to an end of toxic cycles and conditioning patterns that were handed down to us.
We took something that was broken and are making it work in a different way. One thing I have always been good at is adapting to change and making the best of it. There is more than one way to teach our children. I lead with being imperfect because it is honest and it is how people really are. I am not afraid to expose it. My children will be more well-rounded, adjusted, honest, prepared and resilient in the world because of it. To anybody reading this, if this resonates with you, I wanted to offer a different perspective coming from somebody with an unflinching hopeful disposition and non-traditional views.