Hello there my fellow single ladies and gentlemen. I wanted to point something out here. There is more than one way to love people. Not everybody that crosses your path is supposed to be or going to be a romantic connection. Be aware of this if you look at things like that. It is basically a form of judgment and we should know better by now to not judge a book by its cover or judge anything at all for that matter.
Allow me to elaborate. If you find that you have any new person present or coming into your surroundings or vice versa, allow them to show you who they are and show them who you are. We shouldn’t be walking around with a magnifying glass trying to size people up upon first impression to either use or discard based on our own selfish needs. Just be yourself, coexist and allow people to be people. We shouldn’t idealize people or throw them up on pedestals for whatever our selfish perception of them is at first. That is so shallow and self-centered. Get rid of any knee-jerk preconceived notions or self-indulgent expectations of people. Look for substance. Look for exchange and reciprocity in whatever the connection is. And by that, I don’t mean try to look for faults. Identify what is good or different about them. Identify if they have strengths or positive attributes that you identify with.
I have an abundance in the quality of the relationships that I seek and because of that, I am left with nothing other than respect for myself and other people because what I seek is life lessons and longevity through people and in return, I like to share my lessons, victories and failures in an effort to school people on what I have picked up along the way. It’s called getting over yourself. Isn’t that why we are here? Get over yourself!
There is no need to chase an ideal or become fixated on nothing merely than a codependency in and through others. You WILL lose yourself. Understand that you are enough and you hold your own truth within. If you are into the instant gratification of superficial self-indulgence, trust that once the novelty of the shiny, new thing wears off, you will move on to the next thing because you have programmed yourself to not seek and sustain substance, sustenance and longevity to begin with. There is no real self-fulfillment in that. There is no identify found in that and it really lends itself to a meaningless, hopeless, uninspired and empty existence. And people wonder why they are lonely or can’t find love. Relax the straps a little bit folks. Just be. Live and let live. Find the authentic flow in that.
We are all just regular here and we are all human. I get turned off by anybody that idealizes me or puts me up on some pedestal without even really knowing me at first. That kind of thing is a bit overwhelming, blind, rushed and somewhat superficially judgmental. I can be a dominant, unapologetic, ever-changing, unpredictable, stubborn bear of a person at times and although I own who I am in that, those qualities are not always present at first glance and those same qualities surface at almost every circumstance in my life. It is who I am. That doesn’t resonate with everybody on a romantic level but I have formed great, compatible friendships or business partnersips instead. Going that route will actually leave you open, more self-assured and prepared for romance with the right person because now, you are mastering how to properly align yourself in your own strengths as well as the strengths of others and you are doing so responsibly rather than haphazardly.
Stand firm in who you are, embrace others for who they are and expect nothing. How people navigate interpersonal relationships can be so blatently transparent. Know what you want and stand up for your own beliefs and ideals. We are not supposed to be carbon copies of eachother. We are supposed to coexist and work with what we’ve got.
Go inward and access yourself in endless possibilities with the individuals that cross your path. React from there. Have no expectations. Instead, exclude no human possibility or standard from people and watch how things shake up in life. What is FOR you will simply come in with ease. People will surprise you. And again, they might not be there to serve you in a romantic capacity. Imagine that!
So, it is wise that you be aware of and escape the illusory, limiting pattern that you are putting in your own mind if you are doing that. Think about and consider that. You will progressively feel less conflicted in whatever your idea of love and romance is and you will stand more self-assured. I’m not a doctor or relationship guru. I have simply lived my life as honest as possible and am merely sharing my experience, perspective and what seems to have worked for me when I realized how codependent and empty I felt when not in a relationship or partnership. There was a reason why I was latching on to all of the wrong things and spent most of my life unhappy in long-term or committed relationships and why I found myself single and confused for the past four years. It is because I was not in proper alignment with people and I was lacking experience in interpersonal and/or healthy platonic relationships first. So rather than jump from one person to the next out of being impatient, hasty and ending up feeling disappointed and deflated on the instant gratification tip, I started passing time with myself and others differently.
Men and women need to learn how to do platonic relationships better for starters and start getting along and being friends. Get out of your self-interest and lean in more toward your self-purpose. Do you know what that is? Do you know what it is that you are wanting to offer of yourself to the world and people around you? We are all very gifted with purpose. Show yourself in that righteousness and celebrate that shit.
We are here to serve one another in so many different capacities! I mean, are we adults here yet or what boys and girls? Surrender and let go. Get out of your head and your ego trying to force lower vibrational, rat race shit if you are feeling stuck. All that will do is create more set backs in whatever it is that you DON’T want. Dig deeper. Raise your awareness/vibration. This is what it means to do that. It isn’t cliche. Master yourself first. That is the only way you will have anything of meaning to offer the collective. Cultivate the interpersonal connections around you that come in . Establish friendships-not situationships. There is more than one way to love people.
I am saying this because fatal attraction killed the cat. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE romance, I do not think men are all pieces of shit or that all women are crazy. Both are conditioned behaviors. Choose and pave your path for something else.
I want all the ridiculously adorable love stuff. But I do inner work and have isolated myself in that to figure out who I am, what I want and what type of dynamics and ideals I want to put my energy into. For me, you can’t rush awesome. I know exactly what I want and am not budging on that romantically. It takes more than in and out, fly by night, instant gratification through self-indulgence on repeat or on a hamster wheel to penetrate the soul to something more beautiful and fulfilling.
I strongly sense that many people are experiencing conflict romantically or in love. I am not where I want to be in that sense but I have my arms wrapped around that circumstance in acceptance. It’s ok! Stop running from yourself to pass and fill your time with things that are ultimately meaningless to your bigger picture. Don’t play small time with yourself. You are not alone. Sit and be grateful for this time and for whatever lesson you are supposed to taking from the universe. Self-reflection leads to self-actualization. Exercise that like a muscle and follow your own lead there and in that.